We will not tolerate a human president!


When Rubio wiped his lips, we felt the twinge.  We thought “boy he’s acting strange!”

wiping lips

“He may even look a little peeked,” we wondered, then slipping back into paying attention to the junior Senator’s words, we realized “He is nearly off camera!  What’s he doing?  Reaching for a water?”   No!  Can’t be.

He’s drinking!  He’s looking at the camera while he’s drinking!  He’s not taking his eyes off us.  He’s too busy being Presidential to stop talking. He is America’s darling. Slate says he’s one of the “architects” of the American party. Has he really used the word “god” this many times in one speech?  Ack.


He wishes we didn’t see him drinking.  After the speech we’ll tell him “Nah, don’t sweat it, Marco. Nobody even saw you take that drink. It was like it didn’t happen.”

But it did happen! CNN saw it.

And that look he gave us out of the corner of his eye. What was that.

corner of eye

I’ll dream about that look.   I feel like a puppy on the curb of a busy street or a baby crawling over the landing towards the top of a staircase.  I’m gonna hurt myself.  Don’t take your eyes off me!   I might do something.   Don’t look away while you drink that water!

Now Rubio is completely out of the frame AGAIN to put the bottle back.

Marco. Marco. Marco.  It’s ok to drink. You can drink.

We’ll wait….

But COME ON!  What were you thinking?  You put the bottle back?  It’s not a sin to drink.  But it is a sin to put the bottle back!

Who puts the bottle back?  If that were Ted Kennedy, we’d still be waiting here while the Senator sipped and savored his bottled water. It was Poland Spring water, after all. Senator Kennedy should enjoy it, and we’ll wait here while he does.

Poland Spring.  I’ve never had it, but if it’s good enough for Marco Rubio, I’d try it.


I mean seriously Marco. If that were Ted Kennedy, he wouldn’t have had to reach for any drink. He’d have already quenched his thirst before the speech…with a Jack and Coke.  You’re a pussy, Marco!


Then I thought what we ALL thought, “Well, this is career ender, isn’t it?!”


Geeze, let’s give him some slack. He’s a junior congressman, following the President of the United States giving his State of the Union speech.  An entire country of free Americans was watching. And they are arguably more divided now than at any time time since the war between the states. He forgot to take a swig of water before the cameras started rolling. The room was hot. His mother was watching. He left his wallet in the cab. He forgot to turn off the stove. He is human.


Being human is unacceptable behavior for a President (or Presidential Candidate).

  • The President does not wipe His Lips.
  • The President can not say “uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh” between His words.
  • The President can not have bad teeth….or hair…….or whatever the press determines will sell papers.
  • The President can’t look too old…..or too young.
  • The President can not be as fat as Chris Christie. (To be fair, the press reports – and I use that term loosely – that the white house physician predicts that if Chris Christie were President someday he might die in office. Just sayin’.)
  • Above all, a President can NOT drink water during a speech.   The President can not have any imperfections. He is like the King.

He IS the King.

His Holiness, The President is Leader of the Executive Branch (and by default, he also rules the Congress and Judiciary by Executive Order). The King of the Republic is our Commander in Chief of the Army, Namy, Air Force, Marines, Dept of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Forestry Service (and whatever other departments have been buying hollow point bullets by the millions).

As Chris Rock says, he is also our daddy. (And I don’t think Chris meant daddy to have quotes; when he says “daddy” he means “daddy” as in “Daddy, can I borrow the car?”)

We’ve reached the point where we do not tolerate human presidents.  Dr. Ron Paul is human.  REJECT!     Howard Dean is human.   REJECT!     Jimmy Carter is human.     REJECT!     We will only tolerate PERFECT KINGS ORDAINED BY THE PEOPLE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD.

And that, my dear readers what is wrong with our country.  The government was never meant to have huge, centralized powers. We were never meant to put our leaders on anything higher than a soap box.

The Constitution says that the President shall deliver from time to time a description of the state of the union. While he was President, Thomas Jefferson jotted his notes down on a piece of paper and mailed it to Congress.

And did you catch that word at the begining of the speech.  Yeah, it was in the name of the speech.  It’s called the “State of the UNION”.  Funny word “union”.  It means a conglomeration of separate, independent entities.

The United States of America is a semi colon; the States can stand alone.

Fellow Americans, this UNION of our separate and sovereign communities is  NOT united by our personal behaviors, our tolerances, our notions, our goals, our criteria.  We are NOT united by our religious beliefs or lack thereof.  We are not even united by our money!

We are 50 independent, separate states UNITED by only one thing: a mission to defend and protect individual liberties.   We are thousands of cities and tens of thousands of communities, all with different, separate, wonderfully diverse ways of life.  And that’s GOOD.    It’s the way it is supposed to be.  Because, my friends, we are ALL different.  Wonderfully different.    If you don’t like your community because of their crazy beliefs, you can move to another community where they think more like you.  You’re still an American in BOTH cases, and so are the people in your home town and your new town. 

If you don’t get along with anyone, you can still move to Oregon, Montana, or either of the Dakotas (as if we really needed two).

The federal government was designed to serve We The People because the federal government is composed of We The People.

If we treated the federal government the way it is supposed to be treated – a limited and representative government of the people, whose mission is solely to defend our natural and civil rights, we probably would not treat the president like a king.

If we treated the federal government the way it is supposed to be treated, our nation would not be as divided as it is.  When the government begins mandating personal beliefs such as gay marriage and abortion, when the federal government begins to redistribute private property by force, when the federal government runs out of tax revenue and begins printing its own money in order to continue policies benefiting no one except the military industrial complex THEN you know our federal politicians are TOO BIG.

We don’t go crazy when our town councilmen drink water in the middle of their speeches.  We know they are everyday people, just like us. Hell, my town councilman can hardly remember to zip up his fly after a whiz.  So why are we putting our president up on a pedestal?  He is just a human being like you and me.

Let’s shrink him down to the right level.

And while we are at it, let’s shrink the rest of government as well.


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